December Gephart

Birthday card from a friend who knows me well.

noreply@blogger.com (December) — Wed, 30 Dec 2009 15:54:00 +0000

Our lager
Which art in barrels,
Hallowed be thy drink.

Thy kegdom come,
I fill thee mug,
At home, as in the tavern.

Give us this day, our foamy head,
And forgive us our spillages,
As we forgive those who spill upon us,
And lead us not, into inebriation,
But deliver us from hangovers,

Barman.

Socks and shoes.

noreply@blogger.com (December) — Tue, 29 Dec 2009 21:45:00 +0000

Something about me must make people think "I bet that girl has cold feet."

Over the course of the past two weeks, (x-mas and My Birthday! Which SHOULD be a national holiday, but isn't. Yet.) I have received seven pair of warm footwear.

x-mas - 1 pair winter boots from the Big Guy. That we both agreed I need, and yet neither of us really wanted it wrapped under the tree. Something about winter boots screams The Romance Is Over. Now get out there and shovel.

Then for x-mas from my Mother in Law, I got a nice warm fuzzy pair of slippers.

Then for my Birthday I got a lovely pair of fuzzy slippers from a kind, thoughtful co-worker. (The kind of co-worker you dream about having. Totally 100% knowledgeable about the inner workings of the company, happy to help when you have a question, happy to share gossip, and supportive. She's truly fantastic. We don't sit by each other anymore, but we still chat now and then. The problem is, when we start chatting, three hours later, we realized we do need to get back to work.)

Then from my mother, for my birthday I got two pair of wool socks, two pair soft fuzzy aloe socks.

So. Ladies and germs, let it be knows, I am JUST FINE in the sock and fuzzy slipper department.

Now, if you want to get me pretty shiny baubles, a girl never has enough of those.

Its my Birthday Yahooo!!!

noreply@blogger.com (December) — Mon, 28 Dec 2009 16:16:00 +0000

The Big Guy and I both took off today to celebrate, we're going out for Brunch, then off to see Avatar in the 3D. Then I'm told there will be cake. om Nom Nom.

I've been off work since Wednesday, sorry for my Blogger silence. Its hard to force myself to sit at the computer when there is shopping to be done, leftover Christmas ham to eat, and naps to take.

On Wednesday night, I wrote 'The End' on Alice Gets A Bunion. The last few chapters are sloppy, messy and, well, actually kind of sucktastickly stupid.
Yeah, its junk. The Auto-spell checker was shaking its head at my tomfoolery.
But that's the fun part, I can let it rest while I plot out and start my next book, and let the memory of Alice percolate in my head. After I take a break for it, I can go back in and make this puppy sing, make it really come alive.

Right now I'm fighting through some plotting for the new book. The plot is more subtle then Bunions, or Brewing beer. Its more character driven, more emotional I think.
I hope I have the skills to write this book, because it feels like a great plot, I'd hate to screw it all up. Anyway - hope you're well Old Chap!

Ihaz a HotDog

noreply@blogger.com (December) — Sat, 26 Dec 2009 15:31:00 +0000

A shrine to the Moose.

noreply@blogger.com (December) — Tue, 22 Dec 2009 15:13:00 +0000

Wombat got an "indestructible moose" toy for Christmas on Saturday. (Wombat is Buddist, but is happy to accept all gifts for any reason.)

The Big Guy and I chuckled as all Naughty Dog owners do when faced with a challenging toy. If it has a squeaker, or any sort of noisemaker inside, the Wombat WILL get it out.

But there was a whole pamphlet on how indestructible this particular moose toy was, the special space aged material it was seamed together with, testimonials from pet owners that they've had theirs for four years! There were pockets in the paws for treats, there were multiple squeakers, and crinkly stuff in the antlers, WOMABT LOVED IT.

He shook it back and forth, thwacking himself in the head with it. Chasing around the house with it, racing into the kitchen to show me the Moose, dangling from his mouth. I'd lunge the slightest bit, and he'd skitter off joyfully, hoping I'd chase him down and try to wrestle for the moose. (FYI - I don't give a shit about the moose, but he's so easy to keep happy.)

Monday night I got home from work, there was a shrine constructed at the top of the stairs to the moose.

Wombat has a fetish for my wonderoos, so its old hat for him to go root out a pair from the laundry basket and drop them at the top of the steps to show me how much he missed me.

Moose was sitting between 2 pairs of my wonderoos. Like frothy pink lace guards to the temple of Moose. As though guarding him.

By Tuesday night, the moose was dead.

I LOVE MY MOOSE.

But the moose must die.

Give what you can

noreply@blogger.com (December) — Mon, 21 Dec 2009 16:26:00 +0000

The world is a beautiful place, full of people who care.

I haz Hot Dog

noreply@blogger.com (December) — Sat, 19 Dec 2009 14:03:00 +0000

Ho HO ho

noreply@blogger.com (December) — Fri, 18 Dec 2009 16:14:00 +0000

Last night I wrapped the bulk of my x-mas gifts for the family.
Wrapping presents is now my LEAST favorite holiday activity.

My back hurts from hunching over to cut and tape, my neck is cricked, and I have red wine stains on my favorite sweatpants. And the carpet.

I can't cut in a straight line for over two inches. Then I get irritated, so I just hack away at the paper like its a jungle path and I am swinging a machete. (This reminds me of a fantastic movie - Romancing the Stone. *LeSigh*)

The wrapping paper is made out of, what, bacon grease? Remember when tape just used to STICK to it? Thus I have to use four to ten slices of tape to build a wall of stick for one spot. Making all gifts look like they were wrapped by a distracted eight year old. ((aka the Big Guy. ha ha -ZING!))

And also - the wrapping paper people, and the Makers of all Small appliances are apparently in cahoots, since there is NEVER enough paper to wrap a medium sized gift. So you have to jerry-rig some sort of paper patch, to cover the empty space that may give away the whole surprise. (Surprise, its a toaster oven. Just like you asked for. Do we really have to go through this farce?)

I used to love wrapping gifts, the pretty bows and decorative name tags and coordinating paper and ribbons and sparkles.
Now, I'm too darn busy, I slap it closed, chuck all gifts into a gift bag, and hope I can remember whose is what. And send up a little prayer that the dam of tape clings long enough to land in the recipient's lap.

The only thing that made the situation tolerable is a bottle of wine. I'll deal with those stains later.

Dear co-irker,

noreply@blogger.com (December) — Thu, 17 Dec 2009 14:06:00 +0000

I like you, I really do.
But as we were both getting breakfast this morning at the Donut Factory Break room, and you went a little nuts because the Ketchup was missing, that was weird.

When you found the ketchup, and proceeded to slather it over your scrambled eggs and heaping pile of hash browns in a gloppy gooey mess, cackling to yourself that if you don't have ketchup, you might as well just give up, that was weirder.

When I jokingly asked "Does ketchup count as a vegetable?"
And you replied "Of course! Tomatoes!"
That made me cringe. Because I don't think you were kidding.

Then you boasted "A well rounded breakfast - protein (the greasy eggs) starches (the pile of greasy hash browns) and vegetables (the aforementioned ketchup) is a great way to start your day." I enthusiastically agreed, because you were clearly serious, and you may stab me with your plastic spork if I don't.

But here, in the safety of my blog, I'll let you know, I most respectfully disagree. That was NOT a well rounded breakfast. Yes, I'm judging you. Because I'm JEALOUS. I wish I could eat that every day too. But I cannot.

That heaping helping is enough calories to fuel a Michael Phelps style 3 hour workout. Not piloting your desk for four hours until lunch.

I merely agreed because I saw how you reacted to the missing ketchup. and I didn't want to upset you further... sort of like sympathising with your captors in a kidnapping scenario, to woo them into compliance so they run out for a bite of McDonald's, and I can make my escape.

Bottom line - yes, I'm JEALOUS of your breakfast. Although, I would swap out the hash browns for a toasted bagel with an inch of cream cheese on it. And I don't like Ketchup on my eggs.

Old Chap, you may ask yourself "What makes D. all high and mighty, she looks down upon a nice breakfast?"
My Work Omelet - 2/3 cup egg beater, handful mushrooms, pile of spinach, and MorningStar Breakfast sausage. All in all - no carbs, 2 WW points, and it keeps me full until my mid-morning snack. (orange and piece of low fat string cheese.)

I know - living the high life here.
But fitting into that Bikini in February is more important then eating exciting right now.
And I know that Ketchup is not a vegetable.

Santa on the Beach

noreply@blogger.com (December) — Wed, 16 Dec 2009 15:18:00 +0000

I'm sitting here, filling out my Holiday Cards (Santa on the beach) and I realized this year I haven't gotten my normal number of cards thus far. Typically by now I've gotten a nice pile, I hang them in the blinds of our window. By Christmas day I have enough to cover two full windows.
I think I've gotten four. And they've mostly been photo cards of peoples kids. (FYI people who do photo cards, I can't put them in my blinds, they don't hook over nicely. So please adjust for next year. Thank you.)

Asking around the donut factory, we haven't gotten the normal amount here either. Strange. Maybe in this downtrodden economy, this is one way people are cutting back? Not sure.

Anyway - last night while doing dishes for the Big Guy (we take turns, it was his turn, but he's been really busy with work and teaching lessons and gigging and what not, so I just did them. And I wasn't a snotface about it either.) I came up with a great new plot for my next book. Now I need to just finish up Alice Gets A Bunion, and flush out this plot, so I can jump in.

Don't tell the Big Guy though, he may try to use this against me and encourage me to do more dishes.

My current obsession

noreply@blogger.com (December) — Tue, 15 Dec 2009 15:20:00 +0000

JR Watkins Natural Apothecary Hand and Body Lotion.

Its rich and creamy, smells divine, and really moisturizes hard core. And the packaging is Olde Timey, it makes you think you found some Golden little Niche product.

I bought a little variety travel pack (because I can't resist sampler packs of lotions and potions) and every single smell in the pack makes me happy.
Today I tried the Lemon Creme - I feel like a big slice of Lemon Meringue pie. Mmmmm.

If you're in the market for some thick, rich lotion to get through the winter, I'd suggest the Aloe and green tea, or the lavender. Those are my favorites.

Oh Tannenbaum

noreply@blogger.com (December) — Sun, 13 Dec 2009 23:58:00 +0000

Wombat has been surprisingly good about the tree, resisting all low hanging ornaments. I'm waiting to come home and have it hauled around the house in a gleeful mess.

This year my ornament purchase was a Santa sitting in a beach chair, with a drink and a book.
The Big Guy's is Santa rocking out on guitar.

Alan you are a Guitar Hero

noreply@blogger.com (December) — Sun, 13 Dec 2009 20:26:00 +0000

I haz a hot dog

noreply@blogger.com (December) — Sat, 12 Dec 2009 13:51:00 +0000

A PSA this holiday season

noreply@blogger.com (December) — Fri, 11 Dec 2009 14:01:00 +0000

If you're going to shop on-line, Please Please, Please for the love of Wombat, don't use your debit card to pay.

Use a Credit card.

Yes yes, I know, "But I don't USE credit cards. All those interest rates, The Man ripping me off."

Listen. Old Chap. You can be SMARTER then the Card, and pay it off right away. Make THEM work for you.
With the added benefit, you can get Bonus Frequent Flier Miles. (this is how I was able to afford my conference last year. My flight was $10.)

AND, here's the doozy Old Chap, you have purchase protection. And fraud protection. Be a smart consumer, protect yourself, and use the services offered.

I'm not all Charge up those bad boys- NO NO NO. BE responsible. Charge what you can afford to pay back right now. But this way you're protected.

Also - keep an eye on your puchases, and double check the bills to make sure there's nothing funky going on.

While you're out shopping - keep in mind this fantastic site I have been using lately - etsy.com its thousands of vendors who sell their handmade goodies. Its supporting a smaller business, and most of the Chocolate sellers I've found use all natural, Top notch ingrediants, and they make an effort to support other local vendors.

I MAY or MAY NOT be picking up these Brownies for my Sister in Law. Or.. um... me.

Wordcount whiz

noreply@blogger.com (December) — Thu, 10 Dec 2009 14:16:00 +0000

Even though I missed NaNoWriMo, I have been making mad tracks on my word count for my newest Work In Progress.

It's really gratifying to see that tally climb each night. For some reason, writing the first draft feels much more productive then editing through the second or third draft. Well, it feels productive when the words are flowing and I'm not grappling with some sort of transition or trying to fight to be witty. Then it kind of suxass.

Some people are all about editing as they work, writing the cleanest first draft they can. Some just drop it all down in whatever order they see it, and sort it out later. Some like the revising process better then the writing. Me - I try to write clean, but not edit myself too much on the first draft. And I try to enjoy whatever stage I'm in, because as soon as I stop having fun, I'll probably go watch TV.

FYI - our Heroine just had a big dramatic fight with her Hero, and is being comforted by her boss. Who is about to dupe her, and use her for his own Evil Plan. (Dupe isn't code for anything, he's going to throw her under the bus and make her take the fall for a Bad Crime.) But then she'll Double Blind Dupe him, and save the day. All in the next 15,000 words! Whee!

Bl-Bl-Bl-Blizzarrrd!!!!

noreply@blogger.com (December) — Wed, 09 Dec 2009 13:48:00 +0000

Here's a picture out my back door.

Naughty Little Wombat wouldn't stay out long enough to get a picture, he took care of business, raced around the yard, and tore back into the house.

Here's the view from my Donut Shop window at 7:30am.
Margaritaville Wi knows how to do snow removal.
We're deep in a blizzard. Whee!!

I'll post more pictures through the day, to keep you upadated!

Get your mittens.

noreply@blogger.com (December) — Tue, 08 Dec 2009 19:07:00 +0000

With this new storm brewing (FYI - didja know we name our winter storms. This one is called Allison.) people are all battening down the hatches, stocking the cupboards, etc etc.

Just so you know, the Big Guy and I did pick up a used snow blower from a reputable Toro dealer. He of course went directly to the BIGGEST BADDEST machine in the shop, the one with fog lights and a windscreen, chains on the wheels and a complimentary tattoo with purchase. While I went to the pink one. (ha ha, there's no pink one. Just pulling your leg.)
We compromised somewhere in the middle.

And guess who gets to take the bad chicken on her maiden voyage? That's right old chap, ME! Yahoo!! Whatchout snow, I'm gonna blow the crap outa you!
The Big Guy is busy teaching Funky Bass lessons until late, and if we get more then 2 inches before he's home, I'm gonna bust my groove thing down on that snow.

The saddest part is, it's an electric start. Now, you may ask yourself, why is this sad?
Because I can't do my favorite joke...

D: Pulls ripcord. Nothing
D: Pulls ripcord, engine sputters and dies.
D: Pulls ripcord, enigine sputters loudly and dies.
D: Sighs dramically - wipes brow with sweaty wrist. Big Guy? Can you come start this?
Big Guy: Flexes manly muscles. Pulls ripcord, engine roars to life. There ya go!
D: I guess it just needed a bigger jerk.

hee heee hehehehehehehehe God, I love that joke.
Classic, just classic.
It works equally well for lawnmowers, in case you want to try it out yourself.

Winter: I love you I hate you

noreply@blogger.com (December) — Mon, 07 Dec 2009 18:49:00 +0000

I live in Wisconsin, I have a love / hate relationship with winter.

On one hand, I love snow. Our first actual snowfall was a few days ago, it was so pretty. I do love skiing, and it's nice to really experience all four seasons. And I love cute sweaters and I love my fancy scarf, hat, mitten combos in every color.

On the other hand, I hate snow. I hate static hair from your hat that ruins your good hair day. I hate slipping and sliding on ice, I hate idiot drivers.
I especially hate snow before work, when you have to get up at 4:30 to shovel to get out of the driveway to get to the gym, then you get home, and you get an inch while you're getting ready for work. So you have to clean your car off twice, before you even start your day!

And I ALSO hate snow, when the forecast calls for nine inches by Wednesday, and temperatures with wind chill at 40 below zero. There is no room for cute hats and mittens in that weather. That's when you bundle up in 12 layers of long underwear, insulated gloves with insulated mittens over it, and a parka. Don't forget the hat with the flaps to keep your ears on your head.

And you discover your snow blower is kaput. That's when I really HATE WINTER.

I Haz a hot dog

noreply@blogger.com (December) — Sat, 05 Dec 2009 13:12:00 +0000

Sweatin it out.

noreply@blogger.com (December) — Fri, 04 Dec 2009 14:53:00 +0000

I have been on Massive Calorie Burn for about a week now, trying to prep for Bikini Wearing in February.
And yes, I realize that Thanksgiving/ X-mas is the best time to try and lose weight.

So I hit 20-30 minutes on the elliptical, 20-30 minutes on a stair climber thingy, and 20 minutes on the bike. (my toes fall asleep if I go longer. I'm sure that's perfectly normal.)
If I have time I'll do weights in between each machine, but I usually don't have time.

X-mas is coming, and my new book is (ring ring) calling me.

How do they do what they do?

noreply@blogger.com (December) — Thu, 03 Dec 2009 16:15:00 +0000

I watched the Victoria's Secret fashion show the other night, and I was a bit mystified. I've worn stilettos, 6" bad boys. They're comfortable for about 5 minutes, and then I feel like I'm going to snap the teeny little spike heel right off. And lets not talk about my stagger when I'm in my cups.

Normal heels, 3-4" I'm okay, heck, I've been known to sprint to catch a cab, metro, swinging bathroom door. But higher then that, it feels like I'm walking a tight rope. There's no easy hip sway, there's no saunter or swagger. I'm bouncing off walls and have my arms out to keep my balance.

Anyway - watching the show, these models are trotting down the runway, full of attitude, a saucy bounce, and bizarre contraptions weighing them down, possibly throwing them off balance. And they aren't teetering around, they're making some serious time.

How the heck do they do that in those heels? The world may never know.

Of course, if that was my job, to be skinny and wear impossibly high heels, I could probably figure it out.

During the show - they had a Pick the Next Angel contest - and this clip right here is why I wanted Kylie to win. She worked hard. The trainer saw her work hard, and commented to the camera.
That's it, one tiny phrase from a trainer, immediately put me SOLIDLY in her corner. So if that's all it takes in a quick clip, what does it take in a book to make the reader care about the Characters?

I want you to want me.

noreply@blogger.com (December) — Tue, 01 Dec 2009 16:13:00 +0000

I've been looking over my recent reading list, and I feel like something is lacking. Nothing recently has bowled me over, or even made me feel connected to a book. Looking at my ratings, I've ranked everything right around the middle.

And many books I've read lately have been wonderfully written, excellent books. There's nothing wrong with the BOOK, its just not hitting me. Nothing is making me excited.

I think I first realized it when I read Twilight. I wasn't whipped into a frenzy of emotional angst over it. I credited that to not being able to shake the movie from my head. I already knew the plot, I already knew what would happen. I was never able to sink in and immerse myself in the story.
Which confused me, because when I Poo Pooed the movie, so many people said Oh, the Book is much better.

I'm not trying to start any sort of riot here, or get my Twilighty friends worked up. It just simply didn't GRAB me, like it did some people.
Bella irritated me. Edward irritated me.
No fear - Twi-hards. I'm reading New Moon now. I want to give this a chance, and maybe reading it before seeing the movie will do it for me.

But this made me think, what SPECIFICALLY is it about a book that makes me suck in a breath at the emotions? What makes me flip the pages so fast I can't keep up, dying to know what happens next?

And how can I write like that. How can I rip emotions from people like that?

Have you read anything spectacular lately?

Crossed the Finish Line!

noreply@blogger.com (December) — Mon, 30 Nov 2009 15:02:00 +0000

Well, Old Chap, I have finished my Brewmaster story, printed it out in its entirety, and am mailing it off today to the Publisher. DONE and DONE.

At this point its been polished, buffed and re-written so many times, I am ready to put it aside. I feel like I've put a lot of energy and effort into this, and I've finished stronger then I started.

Hopefully I will get to work on it again, but right now, after a full year, I can put it aside and say I did the best I could with the tools and skills I have.

When it comes down to it, I do feel stronger about this next book I'm working on. But there was a lot of growth in Brewmaster. And I'd like to thank all the critique partners who pushed me to better it, to grow and to learn.

I truly hope my next book is cleaner and has a better start out the gate.

I haz hot dog

noreply@blogger.com (December) — Sat, 28 Nov 2009 14:06:00 +0000